When I was in undergrad, the Internet was America Online and I had to wait 1-2 minutes for the computer to make an annoying dial up noise so it could connect. Then, I would wait 30-45 seconds for each page to “come alive”. If it was the wrong page, forget about going back. It would take too long. Now, people can access two or three websites on their smart phone while waiting at a stop light.
Recently, our puppy had to spend the weekend in the hospital. We weren’t sure what was going on, but he was shaking, crying, wouldn’t let us pick him up and initially, the vets weren’t sure what was going on. So, we scoured the Internet for hours looking up everything we could look up in order to preempt the vets diagnosis. I should rename the Internet:
Internet…Where Impatience Meets Opportunity
We found so many different diagnosis’ and of course, that just confused us more.
Or, more recently we found a bat outside the entry way of our front door. We dove to the Internet, and found multiple pages, some saying don’t worry about it, others saying worry about it. Some saying they’re harmless, others saying stay away. Maybe another name for the Internet should be:
Internet…Where Opportunity Meets Confusion
Either way in both of these instances it took about three minutes to get the first couple inquiries back to form a hypothesis for what we were looking at. Twelve years ago, I’d still be looking through the Internet, pounding my fists on the table wondering why it’s taking forever to get anywhere. At that time, my name for the Internet would have been:
Internet…Where You Will Watch Dust Form On Your Computer Monitor Before We Get Back To You.
Thank God we live in a world where we don’t have to go back to that. More answers, quicker response, and more time to do other things. Now, I think I would name the Internet:
Internet…We’ve Sucked You In, You’re Not Going Anywhere