Why Does Florida Make All the Crazy News?

Tonight, the state that regularly brings you crazy face eaters, crazy naked people and crazy orgy people (http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/specials/weirdflorida/blog/2012/09/report_menage_a_trois_ended_in.html) has now brought us the story of a man who’s squirrel caused him to DUI…cuz it was eating him (http://www.wftv.com/news/news/police-man-blamed-pet-squirrel-dui-charge/nSL7y/).  I would think that living here for so long had made me particularly aware of the stories from the state, except, other people, in other states are celebrating our crazy.  It’s more well known than the state bird (mockingbird, not the hand gesture).

Why are we so inundated with the criminally mischievous?  Do we embrace it?  Wait for Ryan Seacrest’s production crew to set up camera’s all over to catch the fun and call it a reality show?  Rethink our drug laws?  Up the funding to mental health clinics?  Educate about the dangers of alcohol abuse?  Decriminalize marijuana?  My money’s on Seacrest Productions, too.  Then we can all laugh together at the silly foibles of the dangerously confused and promiscuous.

I’d think we’d all be rightfully embarrassed by the culture we’re breeding here that tells people it’s ok to make meth in your handbag in the pharmacy section of the local Wal-Mart or go naked into bars or eat the face off a homeless guy.  One out of 3 of those would be perfectly acceptable, really, were it not for having been a woman.  Coming out of the men’s room.  Naked.

With the advent of “reality” television, everyone wants to be a star.  Not the Florida crazies, or rather, them, too, but with the understanding that they would be crazy regardless, but everyone else.  There is no shame in fame-whoring shameless behavior without a parachute.  What’s important is that your name gets out there and you are a STAR…on some distant, sad, basic cable station show featuring grainy traffic camera footage of your contrived stunts.  This feels like reality tv to me.  The walls of dignity broken down for the hope of Snooki-like stardom.  Anytime we are ready to stop celebrating moronic behavior and start trying to achieve actual accomplishments will not be nearly soon enough.

I still don’t know why Florida breeds the crazy news.  I’m no less embarrassed.  However, I am slightly heartened to know my traffic cameras will not turn me into a “star” (yet) and that Snooki is not from Florida.  I’d imagine we’re not done with naked crazies flashing their hardware at beach-goers , but it doesn’t pay to take ourselves so seriously, either.

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