This weekend, September 28th, 2013 at 3:35 am, I forgot what life was. It’s a figure of speech but I was literally asking myself, “What is life?” I was laying down on an inflatable mattress next to people that I went to high school with. We were drinking, we were laughing, and we were helplessly devoted to the night. Time paused and all I could think of was that I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else at the moment. Maybe I would want to be drunk in a different location, perhaps, somewhere in Armenia but drunk none the less.
Drunk is an ugly word though, I prefer the term, “being festive.” Everyone was doing exactly what they wanted to do, things they would never do if they were sober. Everyone was unfiltered, uncensored, and unapologetically themselves. There was every reason in the world to dance, to cry, to fall in love and not enough reason to stop. Nobody asked why, the word “why” didn’t exist because everyone was too concerned with there moment to be wrapped around the logic of what others were doing.
Mind altering, heart pounding confusion. It must have been a mixture of the liquor and the crowd. My mouth kept my secrets but my actions spoke too loud. You wake up the next morning to silence then reminiscing but somehow the truth always comes up missing. They say drunk words are sober thoughts but what if what we really have are drunk thoughts when were sober. Thoughts we know we shouldn’t have, they aren’t good for us but they’re too much fun to not give in, they’re poisonous but you can’t help but to try it, they’re deadly but you don’t mind losing yourself in the sweet paradise of corruption. Until all is lost, you’ve lost nothing at all.