I had been studying nursing for almost two years, and it was just made up in everybody’s mind that I was going to be a nurse. I had even convinced myself that I wanted to be a nurse. You see, I come from a family of nurses. My mom, my dad, four of my aunts, and a host of cousins are all nurses. Likewise, I was on my way to becoming, Alaina, RN MSN. That was the relatively orthodox thing for me to do.
Therefore, you can imagine the look on my mother’s face when I told her I would be pursuing to be a writer. I remember that day oh so well. I might as well have told her I was selling crack cocaine. “What?,” she said. “What do you mean you want to be a writer? That’s not practical. You need to get a degree in something where you know you can get a job”. Of course, we couldn’t be home when I told her this either; we just had to be at someone else’s house.
Ugh! I was so shamed and I just wish I had kept my mouth closed. I’m not going to lie; when she went outside to talk to my aunt, I started crying. As a child, you never want to disappoint your parents, and knowing that I did really put me in a messed up space.
Even though it took a while for my mom to accept and be content with my decision, I am so glad that I “manned up” and told her what I wanted to do. Writing is my pleasure. This is what my heart desires. I honestly can not imagine myself doing anything else. I love sitting at my computer at 2 o’clock in the morning and just writing about whatever comes to mind. I get inspired at random times, which is what makes the writing fun. I never know what I’m going to write. A story can start one way and end up totally different. Sometimes I jump from one subject to the next, hardly ever completing one page in one setting. Nevertheless, this is what’s enjoyable for me.
Sometimes I feel that I may have picked the wrong profession to pursue. Having a successful career as a writer is already a hard thing to do. Why do I need the added stress to my life? Sometimes, I feel like I should have just stayed on track with nursing. Then I get to thinking, this is what brings me joy. I love writing. Even though it’s going to be hard, I want to be an accomplished writer. This is my dream. This is my love.