What’s a guy supposed to do when dating?

What’s a guy supposed to do when dating?

And what’s a grad student supposed to do with the following dilemma?


I’m taking an incredibly interesting class this semester called Communication in Close Relationships. I feel like I keep getting distracted by the close relationships part (because it’s so interesting!) and forgetting that I’m in a Communication graduate program! I am not in a “Dating/Attraction/Friends with Benefits” – graduate program.

I need to focus and stop getting distracted. So I’ll consider this a cleanse. I’ll share with you all the interesting things I’m studying for my final paper in Communication in Close Relationships without the pressure of acknowledging Communication. I’ll consider this my moment to be a Master’s student in the official “Dating/Attraction/Friends with Benefits – Graduate Program” that happens in my finals-driven fantasy land.

I want to tell you about the way dating happened across history in America. From the 1800s until the 1920s, parents and families were responsible for a young person’s mate selection. Supervised courtship kept the couple in a pretty shallow level of intimacy. In addition to not being hot and steamy, men weren’t really allowed “to be men” as we would describe using our current gendered descriptions. That’s because mothers mostly determined their daughters suitors. The when the a guy and a girl were beyond conventional marriage age, women were then allowed to invite men to “partner” with them. The article that I’m getting this information from (Bredow, Cate & Huston, 2008) doesn’t even mention a time during this phase when men have any control in the process.

I’ve taken a similar look at the progressing toward the dating system and modern partnering, but all I want to do is look at all the gender topics that intrigue me!

However, I will respect the allotted space for these blog posts and stop after merely indulging in the beginning of my research.


Bredow, C.A., Cate, R.M., & Huston, T.L. (2008). Have we met before? A conceptual model of first romantic encounters. In J. Harvey, S. Sprecher, & A. Wenzel (Eds.), Handbook of relationship initiation (pp. 3-28). New York: Psychology Press.

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